Ugh

I'm just sad....PopPop isn't doing well. They are moving to Hospice Care, the poor man hasn't had nourishment since Wednesday - he took out his feeding tube and the hospital isn't/hasn't/won't put it back. Even with the feeding tube making him better - he still has the kidney stone and heart problems....which is more cruel - bringing him back to *eh* quality of life, or letting him just.....

I'm so so incredibly sad, mostly for my Mom, Aunt Linda and Uncle Jerry. There isn't a person who couldn't just love him. He has the sweetest voice and loves to sing. Juts a sweet, gentle man with the most gorgeous blue eyes you have ever seen. Now I'm crying again.

Love you PopPop. always have...always will

My Boys

I'll start with Matthew (20 months) because he is having a word explosion and, at this age, learning something every day.

I just love when the little ones start talking, truly I do. Especially my Matthew - because all the kid did was scream - all day long. Ask anyone who called or visited our house - all you heard was screams.

He started with signing "more" and now he says it while signing, so cute. It's actually hysterical if he is bumming for more snacks. One night Daddy had a box if Matthew's favorite cookies (Chocolate Teddy Grahams) and he was climbing on Mike all while signing & shouting "more" (which in Matthew speak is MAW). Love him

He is learning colors - he knows Purple, Yellow, Blue and Red. He isn't loving orange or green (we aren't Irish, so it makes sense...). He likes to pick out crayons, Mega Blocks, Cars anything he can find with his favorite colors.

He can count to Three - One, dooo, teee - focking genious

He can point out & say all of his Handy Manny Tools - seriously, there are 7
He can point out & say all the Sesame Street Characters too.

Now my Michael, who is 5, is just full of hysterical stories.
Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day and he informed that a Leprechaun (a naughty one at that) came into school and messed up all their toys and took a big green poo in the toilet !?!??
Either he as quite an imagination or I should be reporting that daycare to the authorities.

He is also learning to read, I came home last night to him using his Leapfrog Tag Reader - and he announced - "Look Mom, I'm learning to read because...I'm Super Smart"
Yes honey, you are

He is also excited to start camping again, despite my greatest efforts - he will be an outdoorsman - fishing, boating, camping. Like father like son.
It's actually amazing to see how much Michael is like his father, not only in appearance, but just about everything. I see them spending a lot of time together, it's sweet.

Oh, I also sign him up for Kindergarten this month..............Hold Me

Change for the better

Warning, insane rambling ahead

Do you ever have that moment of clarity where you KNOW you have to change...like it takes your breath away and you are focused?? Just me, OK

I have been a smoker forever, not something I have ever been proud of, but continued to do. I quit with both pregnancies and while nursing, but went back after having my boys.

Well, I was talking to my husband last night and I was just plain disgusted with myself, and seeing my awesome friend Ryann's FB page with video clips & pictures of her running a 1/2 marathon in support of her niece, it clicked - I'm going to quit smoking & start running.
Mike almost choked.

Then about an hour later checking on my Mommy Board, our dear sweet Andrea (www.andreareneeremembers.blogspot.com) is having a 5K run to support the Matt Row Memorial Foundation end of August, my birthday to be exact.

The timing to was a bit too coincidental for me to ignore this sign, go ahead laugh, I believe in that shit. I am going to Buffalo, NY and run this 5K in support of not only our sister Andrea and her beautiful family, but for me too!!

I do nothing (ok very little) for myself. I always, always, always put myself last and then end up angry at everyone else. Do I just scream "she needs therapy???"
I'm setting a goal and I WILL achieve it.

Btw - I had to look up 5K Run last night, it's 3.1 miles in case you didn't know...

That's all I got today...I'll keep you updated

Daddy Away - Mommy going Crazy

My husband, Mike, had to go away for training, in Ohio...for two weeks...
Not a problem right?? Super Mom can handle anything...well guess again

Monday, drop off the kids, go to work, pick up the kids from daycare, no issues
I'm convinced that I have this *Single Mommy* routine covered...

Tuesday, wake up to that horrible rumbling in your tummy, you know it's bad -
Yep the dreaded stomach flu. Somehow I manage to get to the kids to school, go to work to just pick-up the laptop, but stay until 2:30, and get home- accident free to boot - Woo Hoo
The rest of the evening was a blur.....but I think I passed out from exhaustion by 9:00

Wednesday, pack for my trip to Virginia, need to give presentation to my customer. I'm sick the entire ride to Virginia, all the while on a conference call while driving - FUN TIMES.

Thursday - Everything goes well, except I don't arrive home until 8:00 pm. Oh, but I notice I *may* be getting strep throat...

Friday - get the kids to school, get my rear-end to work early, completely ready for a corporate kick-ass day....... until the phone rings..... at 9:30...from daycare...Matthew fell and needs stitches!!!!!!!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!? (he is completely fine btw)

Saturday -Daddy is home, even if for just 30 hours, we are all thrilled

Sunday - he leaves to go back to Ohio for the second week of training, and my awesome parents come by to help me with the kids, I think they were truly worried for me.

Monday - we get a snow storm......................................
I'm Done!!

Seriously, major props to the true single Mommies, I'm a week and a half in and I'm nearing a breakdown.